What do we do next?

This has been an unbelievably weird, wild, difficult year. An unprecedented number of catastrophic, profoundly painful events have caused immense loss and suffering for a tremendous number of people across the United States and around the world. Parallel to these in-the-moment events are revelations of long-ongoing acts of harassment and violence against various groups of people deemed “not like us” …

gljudson Better conversations, Conflict

When you have every right …

Someone did something wrong. Something happened, outside of your control but within theirs, that impacted you in a hurtful, time-consuming, or perhaps even expensive way. You have every right to be angry. Pissed off. Annoyed. Frustrated. Forget this empathy horsepucky – you’re mad, and you’re going to tell them all about it. Hold on a minute! There’s a big misconception …

gljudson Better conversations, Conflict

Are there alternatives to win-lose negotiation?

Negotiation. Someone wins. Someone else loses. One person gets what they want. The other person doesn’t. How often do we “win,” only to discover that it’s a hollow victory? What we said we wanted feels different from the “winning” outcome. How often do we “win,” only to discover that the relationship with the other person is irreparably damaged? How often do …

gljudson Conflict, Empathy, Negotiation

An alternative to “safe space”

“This is a safe space.” We hear that a lot in coaching, counseling, consulting, and even in business meetings. Groups on Facebook and on LinkedIn are touted as “safe space” where we can feel comfortable in the company of like-minded people: no one will push our buttons. Educational institutions are under pressure to create “safe space” where students and teachers …

gljudson Better conversations, Conflict

How NOT to pick a mediator

You’ve faced an unhappy fact: your team needs help. The conflict you face isn’t resolving itself, and each attempt at discussion just escalates the issue. The situation is getting increasingly tense, with finger-pointing accusations and name-calling becoming more and more frequent. The only thing you seem to agree on is that something  needs to be done. Perhaps it’s time to hire a mediator. But how …

gljudson Better conversations, Conflict