Afraid of being judged?

Fear of being judged shows up in many ways. We don’t say what we really feel. We don’t wear what we want to wear. We don’t plant our garden – metaphorically or literally – the way we want to plant it. We don’t eat what we want to eat. We don’t ask for what we really want. We don’t read …

gljudson Self-talk

Muting the rotten tomato (a.k.a. your inner critics)

I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that your inner critics will never go away completely. The good news is – well, actually, there are two pieces of good news. (Yay!) Good news #1 You can dial down the inner critics’ noise significantly. With time, patience, and practice, the inner critics’ voices will sound more and more …

gljudson Self-talk

What to say to your inner critic

In my last post, I suggested that you list out the cast of characters throwing rotten tomatoes around in your head. You know, your Inner Critic – or rather, your whole regiment of Critics, since none of us have just one. (If you want to go back and (re-)read that post, click this link; it opens in a new window, …

gljudson Self-talk

Who’s throwing rotten tomatoes?

Your inner critic, that’s who. And if you’re like most people, you’ve got a whole regiment of critics installed in your head, all armed with their own special sort of tomato. There’s the Slavedriver: you’ll never work hard enough to succeed. The Perfectionist: no matter how hard you work, it will never be good enough. The Martyr: you have to …

gljudson Self-talk

Want better conversations?

I have what may be bad news for you: better conversations start with you. They start with the conversations you have with yourself, with that rotten-tomato-throwing peanut gallery in your head that’s constantly on the alert for any mistake it thinks you’ve made. The peanut gallery holds us back from acknowledging ourselves for our success, it hates the loneliness of having opinions others don’t …

gljudson Self-talk

How is your “house” decorated?

One of my favorite quotes comes from the Sufi poet Hafiz: The words you speak become the house you live in. Think about that for a moment. How often do you judge yourself, call yourself names, berate yourself – all in ways you’d never inflict on anyone else? This morning, my husband made the wise and true point that we …

gljudson Self-talk

Failure … or defeat?

Failure is not the same as defeat. Unless you allow it to be. It’s probably cliché to quote Thomas Edison, but it’s also relevant:  “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” If he’d allowed his first – or 100th, or 9,999th – failure to equal defeat, someone else would have invented the lightbulb. We are …

gljudson Self-talk

Visible doesn’t mean exposed

I was talking with a client last week who told me that her biggest challenge in being in business has to do with visibility. “I’m a private person,” she said, and went on to describe her fears of having to put too much of herself on public view in order to succeed in her business. As an introvert and a private …

gljudson Self-talk

Is it hard, or is it scary?

It seems like every article and marketing email coming into my in-box these days is playing some variant of the “it’s so hard” song. Whether they’re harping on how hard it is to do some specific thing, or how hard it is to focus on doing anything at all, it seems like “it’s hard” is the current Hot Marketing Trend. I don’t buy …

gljudson Self-talk

Don’t accept your labels – especially if you like them

Labels are tricky things. You can learn a lot about yourself from labels. Personality styles, for instance – everything from Myers-Briggs to the Enneagram and a host of others – can provide powerful insights into why you do things the way you do, what you might enjoy and excel at, and even into what’s most important for you. Personal attributes are …

gljudson Self-talk