I was asked that question a few days ago.
How, you may wonder, is this relevant to leadership?
It’s relevant because how we approach life is also how we approach leadership. What we believe about life influences how we lead.
And as I have said a thousand times and will probably say at least a thousand more times – life and leadership are not separate. We are all leaders, whether we have an official role or not.
So, is life fair?
It’s a meaningless question. Life just IS. It’s not fair, it’s not unfair, it just … is.
On the other hand, our actions – everyone’s actions – can be interpreted as fair or unfair. We’re all familiar, whether or not we have kids, with the toddler’s plaintive cry, “That’s not fair!” The parent knows “fair” isn’t the point, and knows that what they’re asking of the child is what’s necessary for safety, growth, learning, or simply a reasonably calm household.
Yes, I know there are profoundly wrong, cruel, and awful things happening, both within family households and in the world at large, especially right now. Children shouldn’t be abused, physically, sexually, or emotionally. Renee Nicole Good should still be alive. Black and brown people shouldn’t be terrorized by masked, armed men acting unlawfully in the streets of our cities. And so on.
But “life” isn’t at fault for those things. People are. Similarly, “life” doesn’t get credit for the good things that happen. People do.
As a leader – as a human – you’re responsible for your actions and the impact they have on others. Will those actions sometimes be considered “unfair” by the people you lead? Perhaps. Probably, even. I’ve had to make decisions that the people who were impacted likely considered “unfair.” In one memorable instance, I had to bark a command at someone on my team who was insisting on pushing back on what a client wanted. He was right that the client’s request was the wrong approach. But the client insisted, even after we explained that they were going in the wrong direction. So I basically said just do it (apologies to Nike). Fair? My team member probably didn’t think so, but there it was; we were contractually obligated to work to the client’s specification.
(I did apologize later for barking, but the requirement remained the same.)
In short, “fairness” is in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. And “fair / unfair” isn’t the same as “right / wrong.”
Complaining that “life isn’t fair” is an abdication of responsibility for your actions and for your response to others’ actions. It’s a type of victimhood and a statement of helplessness.
NOTES:
Photo by Sora Shimazaki: https://www.pexels.com/photo/judgement-scale-and-gavel-in-judge-office-5669602/