There’s something someone doesn’t do.
It’s totally in your face. You trip over it – literally or figuratively – every time you turn around.
It might be the employee who always forgets to fill in their time-sheet.
Or it could be your partner, spouse, kid, or roommate who never closes the kitchen cabinet doors.
The cat’s empty water bowl … the client’s unanswered question … the mail left in the mailbox … the un-proofread report …
Whatever it is, it’s so freaking obvious. In fact, it’s so freaking obvious that it’s just as obvious that they don’t care. They don’t care about you, they don’t care about their job, they don’t care about the cat.
But it’s not obvious
Have you ever had someone get really upset about something you didn’t do, and all the while you’re wondering what’s the big deal?, or thinking whoa, they’re really over-reacting!?
What was obvious to them wasn’t obvious to you.
What was a big deal for them isn’t a big deal for you.
Likewise, that thing that person consistently doesn’t do is obvious to you – but not to them.
It’s just not a big deal for them.
We’re all different, and thank goodness for it. Life would be impossibly boring if everyone were the same (or even similar).
Those differences can be endlessly fascinating and, at the same time, endlessly irritating.
Even after you explain why something is important to you, the other person may or may not get it. And even if they get it, they may or may not change.
It’s up to you to notice your reaction … … pause … … and choose to stay calm instead of getting infuriated.
It’s up to you, and I’ll guarantee your life will be happier if you choose calm.
Not only that: the other person is far more likely to change if you choose calm.
Calm creates much less defensive resistance in the other person than fury.