Whose advice do you trust?
A common interview question for leaders and entrepreneurs is, “What’s the worst career advice you’ve ever gotten?” The followup question, of course, is, “What’s the best?”
I’m not here to weigh in on what’s good advice and what’s not. What I do want you to think about is – how do you decide? Whether you’ve asked for advice, or it’s been volunteered to you, how do you decide whether it’s worth following or not?
Once upon a time, quite a few years ago, a colleague specifically asked me for advice. She was an office organizer for self-employed businesspeople, and she was launching an online program for her clientele. She wanted me to help test out the program to see if it would work as she expected.
I tried to tell her that, as a self-proclaimed pathologically organized person, I was not a good candidate for testing her office organizing program, but she begged, and I relented.
Long story short, we took my office down to the walls and put it back together exactly the same (well, minus a few dust-bunnies!).
Clearly, I was not the right person to offer advice on her program. Fortunately for her, it was immediately obvious that I had nothing helpful to say.
But that instant clarity isn’t always the case. I’ve gone through several online programs that took time and effort to reveal themselves as advice that did not fit what I needed. Might’ve been exactly what others needed, but they weren’t right for me.
So – how do you decide whose advice to trust? I won’t for one second claim to have figured it out completely – after all, the whole point of asking for advice is to help navigate uncharted territory, so by definition there are no clear answers. But there are a few criteria I’ve learned to apply.
- Is the person you’re asking at least reasonably aligned with your values? This question of values is huge; without that alignment, you may get advice that makes you really uncomfortable.
- Do they have relevant expertise? Their experience doesn’t have to be exactly the same as yours – in fact, it shouldn’t be! – but it should be relatively similar.
- OR do they have a completely different background and the ability to translate and transfer their experience to your situation? This is a rare skill, so be careful, but it can also yield some terrifically out-of-the-box ideas.
- Are they at least a few years further down the path than you? Asking a peer for advice can feel good and provide validation, but it’s not likely to yield helpful suggestions.
- When they offer their advice, are they open to discussion? Note that I don’t mean “yes, but!” pushback from you; that impulse usually means you’re being closed-minded. But batting ideas around and refining them is almost always helpful, whereas any “I’m right!” stubbornness on their part is a clear red flag.
- Finally, how does their advice feel to you? Is it exciting? Does it feel a little (but not too) risky? Can you see yourself acting on it, even if it will push you out of your comfort zone? Or do you feel an instant clenching, an impulse to grit your teeth? Don’t put too much weight on your instinct, but don’t ignore it either. Especially if it’s advice that’s pushing against your values!
Advice is important, in life and in your career. It’s just as risky to never take anyone’s suggestions as it is to take the wrong suggestions from the wrong people. Learning to discern what’s good advice and what’s not is a key life, and leadership, skill.
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