What do you think: are you manipulative?
I wish there was an easy way to pause the display of this page for 60 seconds for you to think about your answer – and not just your answer, but the whole experience of reading the question and then answering.
What does the question feel like? Where does it land in your body? What feelings and emotions come up?
“Manipulative” is a powerful word packed with a lot of meaning – and a lot of those meanings aren’t especially positive. After all, everyone has had at least one unpleasant experience of being manipulated in some way, whether by a family member, a boss, a co-worker, or someone selling something.
So when you answered that question – are you manipulative? – was it an experience of “Ewww, of course not”?
Or “Well, maybe sometimes, but I try not to be”?
Here’s the thing: we are all manipulative.
It’s impossible NOT to be.
In my last post, I wrote about how words matter. In it, I told the story of a friend whose partner asked her to please “water the baby peas” rather than “water the garden.”
Why? Because my friend is a sucker for “baby” anything, so “baby peas” was much more likely to get the desired result.
Is that manipulative?
Every word choice you make – whether you want it to be or not, whether you like it or not – is manipulative.
We all do a great many things without thinking about them very much. Choosing our words is one of those things.
If we took the time to understand the other person, and therefore had more empathy, and if because of that we chose our words more carefully and intentionally … we would all be more likely to get what we want.
Without having to fight for it.
With much less resentment and frustration.
What kind of world would that be?If we chose our words more intentionally, would we be more likely to get what we want? Click To Tweet