Expectations create outcomes. Students in school; teams at work; individuals, personally and professionally: what’s expected by us and for us impacts results, whether good or bad. That’s not “woo”; it’s well-studied reality. As a leader, what do you expect from your team? From yourself? From, for that matter, your family, friends, community? Be aware. Because if your expectations are, let’s …
Are you willing to be surprised?
We go into every situation with expectations. That’s unavoidable. Our brains are meaning-making machines, and when we don’t know what’s going to happen (which, of course, we don’t – ever), we make up stories about …what’s going to happen. And that means we have expectations. I’d hazard a guess that even the most advanced Zen masters have expectations. This is …
Reality? What’s that?
No, I’m not talking about politicians (though you’d certainly have reason to wonder). I’m talking about a trap many people fall into. Arguing with reality. What’s an argument with reality? Well, it’s when – for instance – it’s raining on your vacation and you stubbornly cling to your outdoor-activity plans, loudly claiming that “it shouldn’t be raining!” Okay, most people …
Doing unto others
You know the Golden Rule, right? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Treat everyone like you want to be treated. Sounds eminently reasonable, right? The problem is, we don’t all want the same things. I mean, hello, that’s obvious, of course. But with that in mind, the Golden Rule falls flat and becomes problematic. If …
Listen up!
Communication. We tend to think of communication as what we say – the concepts, ideas, requests that we speak to individuals or groups. This is especially true of leaders, who, with some justification, consider a big part of their role to be about explaining projects, assigning tasks, giving feedback, and so on. Bluntly, though, this is a problem. Yes, of …
Can you take it?
Leaders give feedback to their people all the time. It’s a key skill for any leader: how to give feedback, whether positive or negative, in ways their people can hear, learn from, and grow. But taking feedback from their people? Not always easy for leaders, for a whole host of reasons. The formal process for leader-to-employee feedback is clearly defined …
The Ripples of Leadership
Let’s start here: leaders, by definition, have followers. And while everyone’s actions have a broader impact than most of us realize, a leader’s impact has ripples that fan out across – dare I say it – multitudes. This is obvious when we look at leaders in high places: CEOs of companies, Executive Directors of nonprofits, military generals, politicians (especially in …
Every leader’s least favorite thing
Firing someone is no fun. But when they’re not performing, and they’ve been given multiple chances and appropriate coaching and training, it’s necessary. It’s tempting to let things keep muddling along, especially if the person appears to be trying. You feel bad for them, of course. But letting things go on too long is a very bad idea. For one …
Don’t be a lazy leader
I’m not talking about hustle culture. (Eww) I’m not advocating 80-hour workweeks. (Ugh) Not at all. But there are two things, above and beyond the job description of any leader, that are important – and not paying attention to those things is what I call “being a lazy leader.” Know yourself Real leadership – the kind I hope all my …
The thorny question of values
I’ve had a love / hate relationship with the concept of core values for – well, just about forever. Are they important? Of course. Is it worth knowing what your values are? Absolutely. But then there’s the thorny question of how do you REALLY know. And there are a gazillion different approaches to that. (Yes, I counted!) From lists of …