I’m not one to make wild generalizations, but I think it’s safe to say that everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe, wants to feel respected.
BUT – and it’s a significant BUT – there’s a difference between earned respect and owed respect.
It’s generally understood that people in positions of power are “owed” respect, because of their title, role, or position.
But it’s hard to give someone respect, even if it’s technically owed to them, when they aren’t acting in ways that earn that respect.
We can disagree with someone, and still – if they themselves behave (dare I say it) with respect, we can still respect them. They’ve earned it. But when it’s merely demanded, and it’s not accompanied by behavior that seems worthy of respect, well, that’s a whole different story. And it’s a story that leads to deserved disrespect.
I have a video on YouTube about how, as managers and leaders, we can respond to a disrespectful employee. The most common question I get in the comments is – what if it’s my manager who’s disrespectful to me, their employee?
That’s an important question. Sadly, and bearing in mind that all I know about the situation is the one or two sentences they’ve written to me, my answer is typically … you need to find another job.
If you’re a leader who demands respect because you believe it’s owed to you in your role as leader, you might want to think again. Because demanding respect without earning it might get you obedience, but it won’t get you trust or loyalty. And in the long run, you’ll lose good employees and you’ll struggle to succeed.
I’m sure I don’t need to point out the many ways the current U.S. administration is demanding respect – but not earning it. Nor are they demonstrating respect for, well, most anything at all except their own egos.
Keep resisting!