Like it or not, we’re in an extremely politicized time.
Whichever side you’re on (and if you’re reading this, and know me at all, I imagine you’re on the democratic side), it’s hard. It’s exhausting. And at work, you may be feeling like you’re treading on eggshells scattered across thin ice.
I’m a solo practitioner, and my clients naturally self-select according to what they know of me. However, I live in a rural area of a red state, so – I’ll let you draw your own conclusions as to what I might encounter walking down the street with the dog!
But the question is, whatever your beliefs and feelings about what the U.S. is going through right now, how do you manage day-to-day with people who disagree?
It’s a tough question. Many of you reading this may be in a work environment where there are indeed a range of opinions – some of which may be rather vociferously and vehemently stated.
Please don’t be one of those people being vociferous and vehement, whichever way you lean. It’s unlikely to change any minds, for one simple reason: you cannot – I repeat, can not – change an emotionally-held belief with logic and fact.
This is neurologically baked into our brains, as much as we may not want to believe it. There are plenty of studies backing this up – though of course, if you have a deep emotional commitment to everything being based logic and fact…
Onward.
So no, don’t argue. But humor can be a great way to bring the tone down.
My husband, who owns a retail store in a plaza where his immediate retail-store neighbor is a gun shop owned by a strong Trump supporter, was approached by the owner the week before the No Kings protests.
This person claimed, vehemently – again, deep emotional commitment – that all the protesters are paid to be there. Rather than attempt to cite facts (thousands of events expecting millions of attendees), my husband looked at him with a big grin and said, “Oh! Cool! That sounds great, I’d love to be paid to attend. Where do I sign up? Are you going to sign up as well?!”
The man harumphed, said, “No, I’m just going to work for free,” and huffed off to his store.
No minds were changed. But that’s not the point; the point was to disagree without debating or causing a rift in the necessary hey-we’re-neighbors-here relationship.
We can’t be mean or nasty in how we use humor; that just entrenches the negativity further. This isn’t me being all love/light/rainbows – I don’t do love/light/rainbows! It’s just me pointing out the reality that anger and nastiness just amps up the anger and nastiness in return.
But lighthearted humor – as I saw in many of the signs at the No Kings protests (and as I attempted in my own sign; you can see one side of it on Facebook here) – is one way to be clear about our position while keeping the tone as light as possible. Will some people still get riled up and even aggressive? Quite possibly. Is that possibility unsettling and even scary? Yes.
But in this era, taking a stand for what we believe is becoming more and more important.
And yes, that’s my strong, deep, emotional commitment.
Hang in there. Take care of yourself. Choose when, where, and how you’ll take a stand.
It’s exhausting. Be realistic and intentional about your capacity. There are many ways to take a stand that don’t involve making signs and marching.