Leading takes courage.
(I’m about to get political, just for one paragraph – it’s way past the point where I can take refuge in “professionalism” to avoid speaking out.)
Look at the Republicans in Congress right now. The majority, if not all, are failing to lead, in my opinion mostly because they’re afraid. And yes, you can say the same for a lot of the Democrats as well, though I continue to hope that there are plans and actions happening out of view of the public.
But here’s the thing: whether you’re in Congress or in your community, in the workplace or in your family, being a leader means sticking your neck out at times. It means taking a stand for what you believe in and what needs to happen, even when some people, maybe a lot of people, aren’t happy about it.
In short, leaders have to do unpopular things.
It takes courage. It’s not easy to tell someone they’re not performing up to standard. It’s not easy to tell someone that no, there’s no budget for a conference, for a training program, for a raise. It’s not easy to tell someone they’re not yet ready for a promotion. And it’s not easy to tell your boss that they’re heading down the wrong path.
It’s hard.
Especially for those of us who value being perceived as “nice.” “Nice” is not a leadership quality; it’s a people-pleasing quality, and people-pleasing is also not a leadership quality. (It’s not a personal-happiness quality, either.)
You’re not a leader in order to be liked. You might be liked, but it’s more important to be respected and trusted.
And yes, respect and trust often lead to liking – but not necessarily – and if you want to be a good, effective leader, you need to drop the very human, very natural desire to be liked.
Strive to be trustworthy. Strive to be respect-worthy.
Strive to be courageous in your leadership.
It’s okay not to want to be a leader, by the way. And not because you don’t have the courage – that’s not at all what I mean.
Companies that offer alternative career paths instead of the monolithic “manager -> leader” path are companies that understand the value of expertise in individual contribution, and that’s good for the company and for everyone in it. Promoting people who don’t want to lead harms everyone involved.