What’s it like to work for you?

Seriously: what’s it like to work for you? Have you ever thought about that question? Have you ever considered how your team feels about coming to work under your supervision and guidance every day? It’s human nature to remain in the rut of our own mindset: our thoughts, ideas, concerns, to-do lists, plans for the weekend, and wondering what our boss …

gljudson Self-awareness

Feeling uncomfortable? Good!

Over the last few days, I’ve had an extended conversation with one of my clients about what it takes to learn and grow. We started talking about one of his employees, moved into a more general discussion, and then came back to his employee … and him. The essence of the conversation centered around this reality: if you’re feeling uncomfortable, …

gljudson Self-awareness

Do you like people?

Seriously. Do you like people? Not just your friends. People, in general. Humanity, as a whole. Of course there are specific people you don’t like, people who rub you the wrong way, people whose values, attitudes, or philosophies you don’t agree with. But if you want to be a good leader, someone who inspires and motivates your team, you need …

gljudson Self-awareness

What are you doing?

Directly across from my computer is a bulletin board. On the board, right in my line of sight, is a five-inch by eight-inch index card with three short lines on it. The top line reads: When I look up and see it, I’m reminded to check in with myself. Is what I’m doing worthwhile? That doesn’t mean it has to …

gljudson Self-awareness

Afraid of being judged?

Fear of being judged shows up in many ways. We don’t say what we really feel. We don’t wear what we want to wear. We don’t plant our garden – metaphorically or literally – the way we want to plant it. We don’t eat what we want to eat. We don’t ask for what we really want. We don’t read …

gljudson Self-awareness

Muting the rotten tomato (a.k.a. your inner critics)

I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that your inner critics will never go away completely. The good news is – well, actually, there are two pieces of good news. (Yay!) Good news #1 You can dial down the inner critics’ noise significantly. With time, patience, and practice, the inner critics’ voices will sound more and more …

gljudson Self-awareness

What to say to your inner critic

In my last post, I suggested that you list out the cast of characters throwing rotten tomatoes around in your head. You know, your Inner Critic – or rather, your whole regiment of Critics, since none of us have just one. (If you want to go back and (re-)read that post, click this link; it opens in a new window, …

gljudson Self-awareness

Who’s throwing rotten tomatoes?

Your inner critic, that’s who. And if you’re like most people, you’ve got a whole regiment of critics installed in your head, all armed with their own special sort of tomato. There’s the Slavedriver: you’ll never work hard enough to succeed. The Perfectionist: no matter how hard you work, it will never be good enough. The Martyr: you have to …

gljudson Self-awareness

Want better conversations?

I have what may be bad news for you: better conversations start with you. They start with the conversations you have with yourself, with that rotten-tomato-throwing peanut gallery in your head that’s constantly on the alert for any mistake it thinks you’ve made. The peanut gallery holds us back from acknowledging ourselves for our success, it hates the loneliness of having opinions others don’t …

gljudson Self-awareness

How is your “house” decorated?

One of my favorite quotes comes from the Sufi poet Hafiz: The words you speak become the house you live in. Think about that for a moment. How often do you judge yourself, call yourself names, berate yourself – all in ways you’d never inflict on anyone else? This morning, my husband made the wise and true point that we …

gljudson Self-awareness