I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that your inner critics will never go away completely. The good news is – well, actually, there are two pieces of good news. (Yay!) Good news #1 You can dial down the inner critics’ noise significantly. With time, patience, and practice, the inner critics’ voices will sound more and more …
What to say to your inner critic
In my last post, I suggested that you list out the cast of characters throwing rotten tomatoes around in your head. You know, your Inner Critic – or rather, your whole regiment of Critics, since none of us have just one. (If you want to go back and (re-)read that post, click this link; it opens in a new window, …
Who’s throwing rotten tomatoes?
Your inner critic, that’s who. And if you’re like most people, you’ve got a whole regiment of critics installed in your head, all armed with their own special sort of tomato. There’s the Slavedriver: you’ll never work hard enough to succeed. The Perfectionist: no matter how hard you work, it will never be good enough. The Martyr: you have to …
From the Summer of Love to the March For Our Lives
Much to my regret, as a trailing-edge Baby Boomer I was too young for most of the activity in the 1960s. The protests, the love-ins, the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll … in hindsight, I suspect I might have been lucky to be too young, but at the time, I bitterly resented not being a few years older. This past Saturday, …
That thing they don’t do …
There’s something someone doesn’t do. It’s totally in your face. You trip over it – literally or figuratively – every time you turn around. It might be the employee who always forgets to fill in their time-sheet. Or it could be your partner, spouse, kid, or roommate who never closes the kitchen cabinet doors. The cat’s empty water bowl … the …
Well, what did you expect?
Last week, I facilitated a two-and-a-half-day boot-camp-style workshop. It was intense. Especially since after the first hour and a half, participants were upset, complaining, and threatening to leave. By the end of the second day, they were raving fans. It all came down to expectations The marketing and pre-workshop emails hadn’t set expectations about what was going to happen. People …
Want better conversations?
I have what may be bad news for you: better conversations start with you. They start with the conversations you have with yourself, with that rotten-tomato-throwing peanut gallery in your head that’s constantly on the alert for any mistake it thinks you’ve made. The peanut gallery holds us back from acknowledging ourselves for our success, it hates the loneliness of having opinions others don’t …
Sometimes it just doesn’t work
You thought and wrote about what you wanted to happen till your pen ran dry and your hand cramped up. You practiced what you wanted to say till your voice got hoarse and your heart cracked open. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. My brother and I have been out of touch for a long time now. It wasn’t anything …
What’s the elephant’s name?
There’s an elephant in the room. It’s the conversation you don’t want to have. It’s the thing you’re uncomfortable about sharing. It’s the topic you’re anxious about discussing. Whatever it is, you think about it often – but never straight on; always kind of sideways, like when you look out the corner of your eye because you don’t want to …
Do you know how to ask? 3 steps to get the best response.
Do you know how to ask? Your mother taught you to always say Please and Thank You. And that’s a good thing, of course. But, assuming you want the best, most useful response to your ask, there’s a bit more to it than that! 1. What do you want? All too often people make vague, unclear requests that require the …