If you want to grow as a leader – whatever your role may be right now – you’ll have to change. There is no growth without change. There’s simply no way to become different without – duh – becoming different. That sounds like a Captain Obvious statement, for sure. But how many people do you know who struggle in vain …
Got timing?
No, that’s not a typo. I really do mean timing. When you’re in a negotiation of any sort – from a simple request to a tough business challenge to a full-on conflict situation – sensitivity to timing is a crucial, and often-overlooked, factor. Timing comes into play in several ways – and all of them are important, no matter whether you’re …
For or about? It matters.
We say we care about someone. Sometimes we care for someone. There’s a difference, and it matters. When we care about someone, they’re a person for whom we have a certain regard. We probably like them, respect them, appreciate them, admire them, maybe even love them. But we might not actually know them. We can care about a charismatic leader. We can care about someone …
You just never know…
None of us have any idea how much impact we have on people. A year and a half ago, a young woman saw my husband and me with our Golden Doodle, Bonnie. It was a crowded sidewalk. She was coming toward us, passed close by, tapped Bonnie on the head and said, “Doodlepop!” We’ve never forgotten that, and often call …
Why leadership is NOT a virtue
“Leadership is a tool, not a value, and effective leaders can be abhorrent forces in the world. I try to remind myself never to say admiringly that someone is a great leader. Instead I try to be more specific. Not all great leaders are leaders for good.” ~ Ryan Derousseau This is one of my favorite quotes because it makes …
Whaddaya mean, you didn’t know?
What I’m about to say will seem really obvious. Bear with me, please. As I teach, effectively communicating change to those responsible for making it happen is crucial for success. Like I said: obvious. Or it should be. The problem, however, lies in the fact that by the time the change initiative is ready to be rolled out, the people responsible …
Afraid of being judged?
Fear of being judged shows up in many ways. We don’t say what we really feel. We don’t wear what we want to wear. We don’t plant our garden – metaphorically or literally – the way we want to plant it. We don’t eat what we want to eat. We don’t ask for what we really want. We don’t read …
Why you should never ask “Why?” (and what to ask instead)
It seems entirely reasonable: someone does something wrong – or at least, not as you’d expect – and you ask, “Why did you do that?” There’s just one problem with this – just one, but it’s a big one: “why” creates an immediate sense of defensiveness and self-protection. “Why did you do that?” Feel it for yourself. It carries a …
You’ve heard this before – and it’s still true
One of the challenges of listening well is that we tend to listen to respond instead of listening to understand. This comes in several flavors. You might listen to the first few sentences, and then start constructing your answer in your mind … which means you tune out the rest of what’s being said. Or you might have something you really-really want to …
Bridging the Gap – even when you disagree
This is a talk I did at a recent public symposium at the Fayetteville, Arkansas public library. (A beautiful space, if you’re anywhere in the area!) The overall symposium topic was “Discover the Power With(in).” Eight speakers, of which I was (obviously) one, presented their perspective on personal power, the power we all have within us to create collaboration and …