Some people avoid conflict. Others seem to relish it. Google “conflict management,” and you’ll get over nine million results – and a lot of autofill suggestions about conflict management styles, examples, process, and so on. Google “conflict resolution,” and you’ll see over 70 million results! Based on those numbers, it seems like a lot more people are trying to fix …
What’s in the space between?
In every relationship between two people, there are obviously two entities involved: the two people. What you may not realize is that there’s a third entity in the room. And leaving out that entity – especially when there’s disagreement or conflict happening – is a huge mistake. So what in the world am I talking about? The space between the …
What you’re not taught (but should learn)
Why aren’t communication, negotiation, and conflict management skills taught in school? Starting in grade school. And in high school. And college. As a requirement, not an elective.* We leave school and wander off into the rest of our lives, mostly unskilled in the art of relationships, connection, negotiation, and real communication. The ability to have hard conversations is a keystone …
Are ghosts and zombies real?
Are you a fan of horror movies and flesh-eating zombie shows? I’m not. Perhaps (and I say this slightly tongue-in-cheek) this is because I deal with so many real ghosts and zombies in my work … and, just like anyone else, in my personal life. Because ghosts and zombies are definitely real. They will haunt you, and they do eat your …
A simple, fun empathy experiment
What does it mean to be empathetic? If it doesn’t come naturally for you – and according to psychological studies, it’s not natural for about 80% of the population – then the task of becoming more empathetic seems daunting at best, and impossible at worst. At least, that’s what some of my clients have said. Then I give them empathy-training …
What do we do next?
This has been an unbelievably weird, wild, difficult year. An unprecedented number of catastrophic, profoundly painful events have caused immense loss and suffering for a tremendous number of people across the United States and around the world. Parallel to these in-the-moment events are revelations of long-ongoing acts of harassment and violence against various groups of people deemed “not like us” …
It’s not my fault!
Most people don’t want to believe that they are the difficult person who’s causing a problem, or that they have any part in a miscommunication, disagreement, or conflict. That’s not just my opinion; it’s borne out by a recent survey conducted by Fierce, Inc. (founded by Fierce Conversations author Susan Scott) and Quantum Workplace. According to the report, only half of …
What to do when someone keeps asking the same question
There’s a simple and obvious answer to their problem. You’ve explained it. Multiple times. In different ways. But they keep repeating the question. Your frustration level is through the roof. Your sanity – never mind your temper – is hanging by a very slender thread – a thread that’s just about to snap. A consultant friend was struggling with this. …
When you have every right …
Someone did something wrong. Something happened, outside of your control but within theirs, that impacted you in a hurtful, time-consuming, or perhaps even expensive way. You have every right to be angry. Pissed off. Annoyed. Frustrated. Forget this empathy horsepucky – you’re mad, and you’re going to tell them all about it. Hold on a minute! There’s a big misconception …
Got difficult people?
The question I’m asked most often is, “How do I deal with difficult people?!” Of course, difficult people come in many shapes and sizes. There’s the gossipy co-worker and the nitpicky boss, the micro-managing manager and the insensitive colleague, the drama queen and the “my way or the highway” king, and so on (and on…) – and each type is …