Seriously. Do you like people? Not just your friends. People, in general. Humanity, as a whole. Of course there are specific people you don’t like, people who rub you the wrong way, people whose values, attitudes, or philosophies you don’t agree with. But if you want to be a good leader, someone who inspires and motivates your team, you need …
What are you doing?
Directly across from my computer is a bulletin board. On the board, right in my line of sight, is a five-inch by eight-inch index card with three short lines on it. The top line reads: When I look up and see it, I’m reminded to check in with myself. Is what I’m doing worthwhile? That doesn’t mean it has to …
Who will you be?
If you want to grow as a leader – whatever your role may be right now – you’ll have to change. There is no growth without change. There’s simply no way to become different without – duh – becoming different. That sounds like a Captain Obvious statement, for sure. But how many people do you know who struggle in vain …
Got timing?
No, that’s not a typo. I really do mean timing. When you’re in a negotiation of any sort – from a simple request to a tough business challenge to a full-on conflict situation – sensitivity to timing is a crucial, and often-overlooked, factor. Timing comes into play in several ways – and all of them are important, no matter whether you’re …
For or about? It matters.
We say we care about someone. Sometimes we care for someone. There’s a difference, and it matters. When we care about someone, they’re a person for whom we have a certain regard. We probably like them, respect them, appreciate them, admire them, maybe even love them. But we might not actually know them. We can care about a charismatic leader. We can care about someone …
You just never know…
None of us have any idea how much impact we have on people. A year and a half ago, a young woman saw my husband and me with our Golden Doodle, Bonnie. It was a crowded sidewalk. She was coming toward us, passed close by, tapped Bonnie on the head and said, “Doodlepop!” We’ve never forgotten that, and often call …
Why leadership is NOT a virtue
“Leadership is a tool, not a value, and effective leaders can be abhorrent forces in the world. I try to remind myself never to say admiringly that someone is a great leader. Instead I try to be more specific. Not all great leaders are leaders for good.” ~ Ryan Derousseau This is one of my favorite quotes because it makes …
Whaddaya mean, you didn’t know?
What I’m about to say will seem really obvious. Bear with me, please. As I teach, effectively communicating change to those responsible for making it happen is crucial for success. Like I said: obvious. Or it should be. The problem, however, lies in the fact that by the time the change initiative is ready to be rolled out, the people responsible …
Afraid of being judged?
Fear of being judged shows up in many ways. We don’t say what we really feel. We don’t wear what we want to wear. We don’t plant our garden – metaphorically or literally – the way we want to plant it. We don’t eat what we want to eat. We don’t ask for what we really want. We don’t read …
Why you should never ask “Why?” (and what to ask instead)
It seems entirely reasonable: someone does something wrong – or at least, not as you’d expect – and you ask, “Why did you do that?” There’s just one problem with this – just one, but it’s a big one: “why” creates an immediate sense of defensiveness and self-protection. “Why did you do that?” Feel it for yourself. It carries a …