One of the challenges of listening well is that we tend to listen to respond instead of listening to understand. This comes in several flavors. You might listen to the first few sentences, and then start constructing your answer in your mind … which means you tune out the rest of what’s being said. Or you might have something you really-really want to …
Bridging the Gap – even when you disagree
This is a talk I did at a recent public symposium at the Fayetteville, Arkansas public library. (A beautiful space, if you’re anywhere in the area!) The overall symposium topic was “Discover the Power With(in).” Eight speakers, of which I was (obviously) one, presented their perspective on personal power, the power we all have within us to create collaboration and …
Muting the rotten tomato (a.k.a. your inner critics)
I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is that your inner critics will never go away completely. The good news is – well, actually, there are two pieces of good news. (Yay!) Good news #1 You can dial down the inner critics’ noise significantly. With time, patience, and practice, the inner critics’ voices will sound more and more …
What to say to your inner critic
In my last post, I suggested that you list out the cast of characters throwing rotten tomatoes around in your head. You know, your Inner Critic – or rather, your whole regiment of Critics, since none of us have just one. (If you want to go back and (re-)read that post, click this link; it opens in a new window, …
Who’s throwing rotten tomatoes?
Your inner critic, that’s who. And if you’re like most people, you’ve got a whole regiment of critics installed in your head, all armed with their own special sort of tomato. There’s the Slavedriver: you’ll never work hard enough to succeed. The Perfectionist: no matter how hard you work, it will never be good enough. The Martyr: you have to …
From the Summer of Love to the March For Our Lives
Much to my regret, as a trailing-edge Baby Boomer I was too young for most of the activity in the 1960s. The protests, the love-ins, the sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll … in hindsight, I suspect I might have been lucky to be too young, but at the time, I bitterly resented not being a few years older. This past Saturday, …
That thing they don’t do …
There’s something someone doesn’t do. It’s totally in your face. You trip over it – literally or figuratively – every time you turn around. It might be the employee who always forgets to fill in their time-sheet. Or it could be your partner, spouse, kid, or roommate who never closes the kitchen cabinet doors. The cat’s empty water bowl … the …
Well, what did you expect?
Last week, I facilitated a two-and-a-half-day boot-camp-style workshop. It was intense. Especially since after the first hour and a half, participants were upset, complaining, and threatening to leave. By the end of the second day, they were raving fans. It all came down to expectations The marketing and pre-workshop emails hadn’t set expectations about what was going to happen. People …
Want better conversations?
I have what may be bad news for you: better conversations start with you. They start with the conversations you have with yourself, with that rotten-tomato-throwing peanut gallery in your head that’s constantly on the alert for any mistake it thinks you’ve made. The peanut gallery holds us back from acknowledging ourselves for our success, it hates the loneliness of having opinions others don’t …
Sometimes it just doesn’t work
You thought and wrote about what you wanted to happen till your pen ran dry and your hand cramped up. You practiced what you wanted to say till your voice got hoarse and your heart cracked open. But sometimes it just doesn’t work. My brother and I have been out of touch for a long time now. It wasn’t anything …